Funny Ha Ha

"I could fart the national anthem and it would sound better than that."

---Daddy's American Idol comment of the day

Life sure is fun when your partner in crime makes you laugh!

Daily Trivia

Did you know...

...Mamo was once crowned Miss Key West Miniskirt? I'm guessing circa 1969.

Your New Pets

Despite my better judgment we set up a big fish tank in our kitchen last week. It only took a year of encouragement from Georgia's Mommy--who conveniently owns a pet store specializing in fish--for me to work up the courage to give it a whirl. You adore the fish and named them Huey, Dewey, Louie, One, Two, Three, and Skunky. At press time, I've only killed one of them (Louie). The others seem to be adapting well, thanks to daily guidance from Georgia's Mommy.

You handle mealtime for your new friends:

Etiquette

There are three appropriate actions to take when you encounter a pregnant woman.

1. Say nothing. You never know for sure.
2. Smile and offer your congratulations/best wishes.
3. Exclaim, "You look fantastic!"

The following comments (all of which have been pointed at me in recent weeks) are simply not acceptable:

• "What?! You're not due until next month? But you're so big!!"
• "Oh, you're having another boy? I'm sorry."
• "Just watch out when you deliver. You'll never guess what happened to me... {insert horror story here}"
• "Don't worry, that extra weight will come right off."
• "You look like you're about to pop!"
• Parenting advice of any kind.
  

Topics of Conversation

I struggle with ways to describe life with you as a 2.75 year old. We sure do laugh a lot! I think my best bet is to simply to let you speak for yourself. So here is a little snippet of a typical conversation. The dialogue is transcribed below the video.

Daddy: I'm going to give you donkey ears.
Jason: No!
D: And a tail.
J: No, don't do that.
D: Why not?
J: You're not gonna run into the fox, and you're not gonna give me donkey ears, and no tail.
D: Why don't you want donkey ears and a tail?
J: I don't like it. I don't like to be that.
D: You don't want to be a donkey?
J: I don't like to be a donkey, and then the...and then all the donkeys will be Jasons and I won't be Jason anymore! And I'm gonna be Jason! And I'm not gonna be a donkey!!
D: Do you like to be Jason?
(beep beep beep)
J: Is it ready? I think it is!
D: Is what...
J: Are they ready?
D: Are what ready?
J: Are the muffins ready?
D: I don't think those are the muffins. I think that was the fire alarm. Mommy was burning the muffins. Mommy's good at that. Say, "Mommy, you better not have killed my muffins."
J: Mommy, please don't kill my muffins. I want to eat 'em.
Mommy: Okay, I'll try not to kill the muffins.
D: Jason, can you sit down please? Jason, sit down please. One, two...
J: Three.
D: High five, good job. Down low. One more time. Ahhh...you're to slow!
J: giggles :)

Museum Fun

We found a new museum last week with Judah-Brackin-Micah and decided to take Daddy there over the weekend.

Making Daddy the happiest man alive:
Scaring Mommy:Playing bongos like Uncle Lenny taught you:Ingesting who knows how many germs on the giant wooden tractor:This little boy asked, "Where are we going?" and you replied, "I don't know, it is a pretend truck." You adored the Bernoulli Principle exhibit and spent a good half hour trying to figure out the floating ball:

Begging Protocol

Sometime between my childhood and present day, the definition of fund raising seems to have changed. When I was raising money for a school trip we washed cars, sold chocolate, held a spaghetti dinner...you know, put forth some sort of effort before expecting random strangers to send us on a free ski vacation. Now, three high school girls wearing Uggs, North Face jackets and $200 jeans block the entrance to my favorite bagel shop while texting on their iPhones and wordlessly holding out tin cans.

If, by some bizarre circumstance, I someday allow you to participate in such nonsense, it might help your cause if you hold the door for hugely pregnant women trying to ease their toddlers through said entry. Just saying.